{"id":483,"date":"2022-07-01T04:23:53","date_gmt":"2022-07-01T09:23:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/?p=483"},"modified":"2025-01-21T02:07:10","modified_gmt":"2025-01-21T08:07:10","slug":"two-ears-and-one-mouth-why-we-should-listen-more-than-we-speak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/two-ears-and-one-mouth-why-we-should-listen-more-than-we-speak\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Ears and One Mouth- Why We Should Listen More Than We Speak"},"content":{"rendered":"

July 18 is World Listening Day, which is a huge relief. Do I only need to listen one day a year? I wish someone had told me ages ago!<\/p>\n

I\u2019m only kidding \u2014 and if you\u2019ve ever been in my office, I hope you realize that. I make it my business to try to be a good listener and leave every patient feeling like they\u2019ve been heard and understood. You learn much more by closing your mouth and opening your ears.<\/p>\n

But if positive listening habits don\u2019t come easily to you, you\u2019re not alone. Most interpersonal relationships I\u2019ve encountered started with me being a poor listener. I didn\u2019t take the time to understand the other person\u2019s approach, opinion, or line of thinking. <\/p>\n

Most people think they\u2019re good at extrapolation, and I\u2019m no exception. My brain likes to jump ahead, and when I think I know what someone will say next, I want to finish their sentence. It\u2019s with good intentions \u2014 I think it shows how well I understand them! But, of course, it\u2019s rude. Plus, I\u2019m not always as psychic as I tend to think, and when I finish the other person\u2019s thought incorrectly, it throws us both off guard. I work hard to restrain this impulse and stay engaged in what people say instead of what I think they will say.<\/p>\n

One of my most valuable learning experiences in listening was when my dad was sick with two different types of cancers. I accompanied him on many doctor\u2019s visits, and I always appreciated how well they\u2019d listen to his concerns. He would sometimes go off-topic, and as a physician, I knew he wasn\u2019t answering the questions in the way the doctors intended. But they would listen carefully, then redirect the conversation back to the information they needed. <\/p>\n

Sometimes, they had to do that multiple times in a conversation, but they didn\u2019t get frustrated, and Dad felt heard. This was extremely helpful for me to hear and it helped me adjust my thinking and how I listen to my patients. When you let people talk, you can often gain a wealth of information. It\u2019s the best way to learn about their concerns. I try to put my patients at ease, but sometimes they have a worry that I\u2019ve never considered. I can\u2019t reassure them if I don\u2019t know what their fears are. So, I need to listen before I speak. <\/p>\n

Not surprisingly, listening is more than waiting for the other person to stop talking. If you\u2019re biding your time until it\u2019s polite to speak, you\u2019re not absorbing the other person\u2019s words. Worse, people can tell when that\u2019s what you\u2019re doing, and they\u2019ll stop opening up to you. That\u2019s the kiss of death for any doctor-patient relationship, so I strive never to get complacent. Learning to listen is a lifelong effort, and I\u2019ve found the books \u201cYou\u2019re Not Listening\u201d by Kate Murphy and \u201cI Hear You: The Surprising Simple Skill Behind Extraordinay Relationships\u201d by Michael S. Sorensen to be very helpful in my quest for improvement in this critical area. To be clear, I still miss the mark and feel terrible I have derailed a conversation due to poor listening. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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It\u2019s a cliche because it\u2019s true \u2014 we have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak. At the start of every year, I commit myself to listening better than the year before. I hope that if I\u2019m ever off the mark, you\u2019ll remind me that I can do better. I\u2019ll be grateful for your feedback and ready to listen with an open mind.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

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July 18 is World Listening Day, which is a huge relief. Do I only need to listen one day a year? I wish someone had told me ages ago! I\u2019m only kidding \u2014 and if you\u2019ve ever been in my … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":485,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/483"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=483"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/483\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1082,"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/483\/revisions\/1082"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/485"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eyeplasticmd.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}